Spoil Review
I'm gonna be real, the first 680 pages were pure pain to get through, and no, it's not the book's problem; it's me. I did not care about 7 or 8 of the POVS, did not care about anything that happened, even when Renly died and when Theon took over Winterfell. I found out that reading this series back to back isn't the greatest idea, and my brain was just loaded. I decided to take a break and came back to read the remaining 200 pages.
The last 200 pages SLAP; I finally appreciated how insane the plot of this book is. I started off hating Theon's chapters, and then his chapter had one of the craziest endings. The reveal of Reek and Ramsay Bolton switch... JAW ON THE FLOOR, I HAD TO PROCESS THAT FOR 5 MINUTES.
Jaime Lannister shows up once in this book and completely stole the show. His conversation with Catelyn was pure gold; that man had no business being funny. "I seldom fling children from towers to improve their health. Yes, I meant for him to die." The sheer audacity- I love him for that. Tyrion is also really growing on me; his political maneuvering and the way he locks the fuck in came full swinging in battle and killed a bunch of people despite having minimal combat skill. Sir, I didn't know you could do that.
I'm so sad that all the Stark children are all separating, like Rickon and Bran separating in the final chapters... still waiting for that reunion. Unpopular opinion, but I actually like Sansa Stark. Yes, she was incredibly annoying in the first book, but her journey has always interested me, and in this book, I felt so bad for her. My girl is being surrounded by adults who would take advantage of her and a psycho for a fiancé.
The few POVs that are truly torturous to go through were Davos and Bran; Bran got a bit more interesting in the end, but Davos is so bland to me as a character. LIKE I GET IT, HE USED TO SMUGGLE ONIONS. Can we move on? That being said, I am excited for the third book, which I saw was the most universally loved in the series, and wonder where our characters will go.